Talk About an Emotional Week

I am so happy this week is over!  After having mom and dad's anniversary last weekend and the anniversary of his death this Friday, I am emotionally drained and exhausted. Driving to work Thursday, I realized it was the day dad made the decision to go into hospice last year. To make matters worse, I have to drive by the hospital where we were when he made the decision every day! Friday was absolute torture! The last place I wanted to be was work! Luckily, my principal let my sister and me leave early. We had the entire family over Friday night to remember dad. We each bought balloons in remembrance of him. We stood in a circle outside, each taking turns saying something about dad and letting our balloons go. It was a very emotional night, but also very healing. I miss my dad everyday! I cannot even begin to count the number of times the past year I wished for a "father/daughter" talk. The only thing that worries me is that I am not making him proud. That is all I want ... to make him proud. When I see him again I do not want to hear anything but that he is proud of me. I have also began a quest to find happiness again. I have spent the last year in pain and misery and I'm tired of it. I am going to find something that brings me happiness and embrace it. Maybe it (whatever "it" may be) is here in Vegas and maybe it is not. For now, I am in Vegas and will look for happiness here. If in two years when I am done with school I have not found it, I will look elsewhere. Here is to a better, more productive, less emotional week!!